Celebrating Mother’s Day Together, Apart
It feels like Mother’s Day is going to be a lot different this year than what we’re used to! But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t celebrate – actually, come to think of it, maybe we should celebrate in an even more meaningful way than usual. As I thought about how we traditionally celebrate this holiday at my house – with the obligatory brunch and some forced smile photos of me with my twin sons – I thought about 1) WHATabout motherhood should we be celebrating, 2) WHO should we celebrate on this day and 3) HOW could we make it actually mean something and feel more genuine to fit these challengingtimes.
First, let’s start with the What. What does Motherhood even mean? Honestly, it feels like even the scope of being a mom has changed dramatically in the last two months!! For me, before shelter-in-place, official motherhood happened in person in the evenings and on weekends. Sure – in between those times you’re always thinking of them in the back of your head for one reason or another, but you’re not responsible for making sure they make it from class to class or managing all three of their meals or directing their schedule for every minute of the day. In some ways it’s like having newborns again, except now they can argue and weigh in on what they want! Up until 2 months ago, I felt like I had so much room to “mother” in other aspects of my life – my team at work, my friends, even starting and nurturing a new business! Those things are all still so important to me, but without the daily in person contact and less emotional space available, it’s been difficult to save the space for everything in my life that needs or deserves “mom-ing”. All of that is to say that even though everything is different this year for Mother’s Day, the fundamentals about what it means to me haven’t changed – just where the dedicated mom emphasis is placed.
Now let’s focus on who should I think about celebrating thisMother’s Day? There are “moms” all around me who have that kind of impact on me and my family. As a family, we will celebrate the friend who takes the time to listen to my children’ssocial struggles at school, or coach them in their sport of choice, or their teachers at school, or their grandmothers and aunts, or especially their nanny who is truly a third parent, because my children are lucky to have lots of “mom-ing” in their life. And for me, I can’t wait to celebrate my partner in life, my husband, and being able to spend this much concentrated time with my 12-year-old boys who are rapidly becoming adults, and the beginning of Archer, the Archer team and how passionate they are about the brand and what we are building, our new and older puppies, my sister and sister-in-law, my friends, and especially my real mom who means everything to me and is riding this out in Boston with only my grumpy (😉) dad for a companion. This year it feels right to expand what a “mom” is, mom is not just one person, mom is family.
Finally, how do I celebrate all these moms in our life? How do Ishow my appreciation and love for all these incredible influences on us and the things that matter to us? My instinct, my nature and basically every fiber of my being leads me to elaborate celebration schemes. (Just ask around!) But it feels more appropriate this year to be subtle and meaningful instead of loud and ostentatious. I will celebrate with the things that have made me happy in the last 60 days by sending and sharing… flowers of any variety, new and easy recipes, baked goods, sipping on bubbles, unexpected texts, phone calls and zooms with old friends. At the risk of being one more person telling you how to feel or what to do right now, join me in celebrating all the moms in your life this Mother’s Day the way that feels right to you. Because still celebrating in little, meaningful ways feels right for right now and even little gestures can have a big impact these days.